THE DARK REALITY OF SEASONAL affective disorder

On Thursday, December 21, 2022, in Eugene, Oregon, the sun rose at 7:44 a.m. and set at 4:36 p.m. The sun was only out for eight hours and 52 minutes; six hours and 37 minutes shorter than the longest day of the year, June 21st. That morning, University of Oregon student, Mira Eagan, recalls lying in her warm and cozy bed unable to gather up the motivation to get up and start her day. She said she spent her day “depressed lying in bed seriously pondering her decision to continue to go to school in cold and dark Oregon.”

At the University of Oregon, where the sun may not shine for days at a time students are at a higher risk of developing symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD. According to Neva Lillis, Peer Wellness Facilitator, SAD is a type of depression that is related to the changes of the seasons. Lills explained that the disease affects millions of people every year and that almost everyone can experience the related symptoms. However, she said that the people most affected are young, northern-living females who already struggle with non-seasonal depression or bipolar disorder. 

Lillis explained how the symptoms of SAD are often overlooked due to the commonality and seasonal nature of the disease. But, she warned that those affected by the disease need to take it seriously because the symptoms can be extremely dangerous when left untreated. 

Eagan, who has lived in Oregon since birth, admitted that although she knows that she experiences harmful symptoms due to SAD, she has not attempted to seek treatment. “Every time I see the sun, I realize how depressed I actually am. The sun can really do a whole 360 on my mood. It really is scary how used to the depression I have gotten,” Eagan said. 

Isabella Morgan, a student at the University of Oregon originally from Southern California, said she was warned about the winter depression before moving to Oregon. However, she claimed that she was not warned enough; “I had no idea how bad it would actually be,” she said while wearing a brown puffy coat indoors. “It is truly crazy how depressed I can get just because of the lack of daylight and warmth.” 

Lillis explained that while depression is a common and harmful symptom of SAD, it can also create a host of other problems like a lack of motivation. 

“The cold and darkness make me more prone to depressive episodes,” Eagan said. She explained how her depressive episodes make it hard to pull herself out of bed every morning and that she has a tendency to want to lie in bed all day and “rot. I just do not want to do what I have to do every day. I want to lay in my warm bed and ignore all my responsibilities. It is really bad for productivity,” Eagan said. 

Amelia Kennedy, a student at UO, expressed similar feelings of depression and lack of motivation. “The darkness makes me withdraw from my emotions. I find myself dwelling on my depressing thoughts which makes me a lot less productive.” 

Both Kennedy and Eagan are fourth-year students involved in a plethora of extracurriculars and are described as highly motivated by Morgan, their peer, and each other. But, they say the darkness and cold have the power to strip them of their motivation and wither them depressed and bedridden. 

Morgan said she chooses to stay inside and miss her classes frequently because walking outside takes such a toll on her mental health. “A lot of the time I can not even bear to get out of my bed,” she said, “Eugene is just too cold during the winter months to explore. I’d rather stay in my bed with my heated blanket and space heater.”
Many people affected by SAD may also experience physical changes to their skin due to the winter timeline of the disease, Lillis said. She explained how winter in Eugene brings cold weather and therefore, pale and dry skin. Eagan explained that pale and dry skin brings out feelings of low self-esteem. “I get so pale and my skin gets so dry. I feel so ugly and fat that I do not want to walk outside and see my peers.”

Morgan agreed with Eagan’s statement. She said, “During the Oregon winter, I’m cold, pale, ugly, and fat.” She said that one of the only things to do in Eugene during the winter time is to go out to bars, but because of her low self-esteem she often chooses not to and ends up staying in bed. 

Kennedy offered similar insights, “I want to go out and see my peers and socialize, but when I am feeling so ugly, it’s hard to make it out of the house.”

While there are many individual effects of SAD on college students, the sense of community that college offers can create a bandwagon effect, Lillis said. “When I see everyone else so sad while walking around campus, it just makes me all that sadder,” Eagan said, “I get myself out of bed for once and all I am met with is frowning faces.” 

Morgan said that Eagan’s experience is not an uncommon one. “It is impossible to make myself feel better when no one around me is okay either.” She said all her roommates deal with the same problems she does, “When no one in my house is going to class. Why would I? When everyone else in my house is sad. So am I. It is hard to pull yourself out of that debilitating cycle.” 

“There is an epidemic of sadness on this campus and it’s impossible to ignore,” Eagan said.