HOOKUP CULTURE: THE GOOD? THE BAD AND THE UGLY

“Doses and Mimosas” blares loudly from the kitchen as a group of roommates gather around a bathroom mirror, attempting to conceal their undereye bags from the night before by caking their faces with foundation. They chitchat about frat parties they hope to attend, friends they may see and guys they want to go home with at the end of the night. 

 Collegiate women and men create social groups like this where alcohol, drugs and partying run rampant. These so-called “social circles” primarily revolve around Greek life and solely exist to help members go out and hook up with one another. Amid the COVID-19 pandemic, significantly more of these circles have been established at the University of Oregon, said Mira Eagan, UO student and non-Greek life member, thus enabling the inevitable rise of hookup culture and its resulting consequences. 

Hookup culture is the reverse of the real-world dating game. Participants take a test-run of the sexual side of their potential romantic partner before deciding whether to commit. Dean Griffin, UO student and Alpha Sigma Phi member, said that instead of taking partners out on dates, individuals take each other home for the night and may never speak again.

At big schools like UO where many varying social circles exist, the circles most intertwined with the Greek life community are the primary participants of hookup culture, as fraternities are responsible for throwing the parties where hookup culture takes place, Eagan said.

“Arguably, I could say that schools without Greek life definitely have more of a dating culture,” Eagan said. Griffin agreed, “the existence of Greek life enables hookup culture.” 

“The only time you’re really seeing people is when you’re drunk and you’re partying, so it’s not really the best opportunity to meet people,” Eagan said when referring to fraternity parties and dating. 

Additionally, the pause on college party life due to COVID-19 has extended the life of hookup culture. Clearly, no hook ups for a year have accentuated the environment, Eagan said. “People are very anxious to get out and make up for lost time,” Griffin said. 

However, the enablers and actual existence of hookup culture are not the toxic aspects. “I very much see it as like if you’re not harming anybody, do whatever you want,” Griffin said. The real problem arises in the form of resulting psychological consequences that vary significantly among genders. 

Hookup culture affects women and men in different ways. Griffin said that being gay has put him in a unique position where he gets the opportunity to hear both sides of the narrative.

Griffin said he has noticed that hookup culture has taken a greater emotional toll on his female friends rather than his fraternity brothers. Women tend to get slut-shamed for their active participation in hookup culture while men tend to be congratulated for their self-centered pleasure. He said he often hears men proudly proclaiming how many women they have hooked up with while women are looked down upon if their numbers are deemed too high. 

“Girls get way more emotionally damaged from it. They feel more,” Eagan said. “Girls get caught up with the guy they are hooking up with and will start to think he wants to date them. But in reality, [he] does not.” Men, especially in the college-age range who party a lot, are just looking for a warm body, Eagan added.

“It’s a boy’s world,” said Rhemy Crawford, UO student and Chi Omega member. They get to control the culture by picking and choosing the girls they want and don’t. “Girls definitely get the short end of the stick.” 

“I know multiple guys who have decided the best way to end their brief romances with their current partner is by hooking up with a new girl right in front of them,” Eagan said. Guys seem to think it is perfectly fine to hook up with anyone without considering how it may affect other people, “they just look for the next thing they can put their penis in.”

Griffin said he and his other female friends joke about feeling like an object for use by the men they hook up with. However, the feelings of low self-worth seem to be no joke, he later added, “it can make people feel worthless, … shitty and used.” 

Low self-esteem materializes itself in a myriad of other problems, one being body insecurities. When asked if hookup culture has affected their personal lives in any way, Crawford said it has created self-doubt in herself and the way she looks, and Eagan said, “insecurities run wild … body issues are definitely at the top of my list.” 

Eagan said comparing herself to the “skinny and tiny and pretty” girls who consistently get chosen over her to hook up with the guys she is interested in has severely damaged her body image and self-esteem.

When vulnerable college-aged women are forced to repeatedly question their self-worth and exterior image, their mental development can suffer. First-year students, especially women, are just beginning the complicated process of finding themselves in a college setting. They come to UO naïve and impressionable and are met with men who see them as a vessel for their own pleasure, Eagan said. 

Many students’ first year consists of excessive drinking and hooking up with strangers. Individuals who are mentally unprepared for this arguably toxic lifestyle will face the consequences. Eagan, who partied frequently during her first year said, “I was pretty mentally unstable freshman year.” When students’ brains are forced into survival mode, their personal development slows, and they are left behind as their healthy peers continue to grow. 

When asked if they think they would be different, happier and less stressed if hookup culture had never existed, Crawford replied yes, and Eagan and Griffin both said they would be in a different stage romantically.

Unlike other stressors in college students’ lives that end the moment the last final is completed, the repercussions of hookup culture manifest indefinitely and materialize in the form of toxic romantic behaviors.  

Griffin, who recently started seeing a man “more seriously than hooking up,” said he was excited, but scared when entering this adult-like relationship because he “is used to being just somebody for somebody else to hook up with.” Feelings of self-doubt associated with prior hookups arise despite clear communication denying a solely sexual relationship.  

Crawford said most of her relationships with men have been “one-time things” that she was unable to learn from, leaving her unaware of how to navigate relationships in a non-toxic way. 

The ability to partake in healthy relationships takes experience— experience that many college students lack. When asked if they feel ill-prepared for the real dating world, Crawford, Griffin and Eagan all replied yes. 

“Hookup culture creates a toxic environment resulting in life-long consequences and I hope one day I will be able to recover,” Eagan said.